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Love me
Im a Princess

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GongzHu
Weiyun
29sept
CHC

She Loves.
GOD
Hibari
Amy JiEJie
JoJo. BFF
IanChow Didi
Light Daddy
Szemin NuEr
Xiang Qi sister
Claudia Coffee
Shermaine AiAi
Gordon Baobei
33ppl Kwok Family
Lucky && Angel
Friends

Material Loves.
Lavender
Tweety
Raoul
Christian Dior
Juicy Couture

GongzHu Wishes
Drums
Go taiwan
Hamster
Hermit Crab
Hibari style prince
Lose 10kg
My Prince
New phone
Purple contact lense
6A1
6As
Last forever with baby


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Other Princesses & Princes
Image hosted by Photobucket.com Princess friendster
Princess 2nd friendster
Image hosted by Photobucket.com princess d0rEeN
princess jojo. BFFL.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com princess SzeMin Nuer
Image hosted by Photobucket.com prince jianrong
prince ian Didi
Image hosted by Photobucket.com prince kokwei
King Light Daddy
Image hosted by Photobucket.com princess Shermaine AiAi
prince Gordon Baobei

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Princess Laisi
Princess Amy Jiejie

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Prince Enzan

Her Past
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Saturday, November 07, 2009
Rants

Lesson learnt , friends are just a waste of time.  
They either pangseh you for their stead, or they just dont trust you.
But I did both anyways.
I admit, I m a waste of time too. Dont bother, I wouldn't be close to anyone anyways.
I swear I shouldn't have done that. Now a bit the regret also no use right.

But the last thing I've expected is that my friend thinks I stole their money.
Dont laugh, dont gasp, it's true.
Dots right ? That's the last thing I'll ever do please.
So what ? I stole their money so that I can da bao more lunch for them ?
OR I steal money to buy more milo ? -.-
Those who wanna laugh, you can laugh now.

I should have left with my bros 6 years ago.
I should have left with my sisters 2 years ago.
Maybe all this wouldn't have happened.

I suddenly miss my bro and sis a lot.
If I didn't flirt so fucking much, you'll all still be here.
Till now I still cannot believe that some of my bros sabo my relationship just to get me to stead with their other bros.
Neither can I believe that my sisters tried to take my guy from me.
Whatever, it isn't the first time Im being betrayed anyways.
Maybe Im still too believing. Maybe Im still too exposed to people.

The onli thing I wanna steal now is a time machine.
Sadly $70 cannot buy me one. So why the fuck would I want the money ?!

I wish you're here. Then I wouldn't cry anymore.
I need you to tell me who's good and who's not.
I need you to make me smile.
I need you to give my voice back.
I know I was stubborn , and I still am.
What ever happened was as though a nightmare.
I wish I'll wake up to see you right next to me.
I've changed too late. I've wished too late.
All I want, is to be your princess again.
Im sorwie I cannot stand up on my own, not now, not ever.
But one thing I know, I'll never get your love again.
Dreams are meant for kids.
I've learnt it the hard way, without you.

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 11:41 pm


Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Hurts

I just heard that I used to be his everything . I just heard that he is over me. I couldn't take it. Tears kept flowing. I tried to stop this love. I did...

Holding back my tears.

Fake smiles.

I love what would never be mine.

I bet all the heart breaks all my ex had, add together also not as much as what Im feeling. I hurt you guys. But no one held that love for 5 years like I did.

I wanna be in your arms again. I want your love again.

I m just being foolish...



Hope Bi truely loves me. I dont wanna start this fucked up cycle again. Sorwie that I make you angry all the time. Sorwie I dont have the time for you. Sorwie I made you wait. Sorwie...

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 02:26 am


Monday, October 19, 2009
fucking emo

To Kai :
I just saw your tag. Yes I admit the story was fake. I admit I remember everything. It's oki if you blame me. You wouldn't know the truth and I wouldn't tell the truth. Even if I did you wouldn't believe anyways. It involves more shit than you think. I dont expect you to accept my appologies as well. But still, Im sorwie. I know every thing Im getting is karma. And I don't complain about the karma. I willingly accept it. Ya I know you'll still think Im a fake after this post. Scold me ba. Im fine with it. =>

Guys, the onli part Im complaining about, is the fact that I said "I know you are honging", and yet you still continue. It's like wasting time can. If I do believe you, then it's a different story.

Many people have been flaring that I've not been admiting my faults. I keep making myself seem like the victim. I dont know how to make you guys understand that I do know Im under going retribution.

I know I've hurt like many guys. Not knowing how to reject shouldn't be an excuse for what I did, even if it is the truth. For some, I didn't tell you to leave me alone because I wanted to keep our friendship, I thought everything would just fade off. But for many, I was just honging. The truth is that, I reali cannot remember everyone I've hurt. I can remember some names / incidents, but for others, I cannot even remember it existed.

I was walking through bishan yesterday, and I decided that I should just come clean with everyone and myself.

I dont think you'll ever get to read this, but I wanna tell you that you're the onli guy I felt true love with. Sherwin, you're gonna hate me even more after knowing about what Im about to say. I lied like a thousand times to you. Which part of me wasn't a lie at that time? None.
I still remember our first quarrel because I wanted to stead with wilson.
Remember Bryant? I was timing him with you, it ended after a few days, but I still did wrong.
Wilson, sorwie I kept putting the blame on you. The truth is, on the first day I met wilson, we went out to town after sherwin walked away. I lied that I was too scared to call you up. And... I kissed him. It wasn't wilson's fault, I started it. I kept lying that Wilson was the one who kept looking me up. Actually, I was the one who called him out. It didn't happen once or twice, it happened very often. I thought I could hide it from you. I was scared that you'll leave me, hence I pushed all the blame to wilson. The truth is, he reali reali didn't want to do anithing to betray the friendship, I was the one who insisted. I know I caused so much misunderstanding, any amount of sorwie cannot make up for it.
Remember in 2006 Jan we were on complicated status, I went to meet Darryn? I lied that I was meeting a girl, but somehow you found out. I lied that he was just a friend to me. Actually, we were together. Everyone was right for breaking me and darryn. Although he's the 2nd guy I had feelings for, what I did was still wrong. He was young and innocent, I shouldn't have. He still blames me for what I did, and I still blame myself.
Sherwin, in total I had 4 guys during your time. I lied like fuck to cover up. I even got angry what you were talking to girls. I always blamed you for the last few months of our relationship. I blamed you for having flings and liking other girls. You're right when you said that I never blamed myself. Yupx, at that time, I didnt.
The fact is that, I didn't even know what my feelings for you were. I didn't even know if I meant it when I said I love you. Until you walked out of my life. I thought after hanging that call, I could more on with life. But I never knew that I would spend the next 4 years crying.
I never knew the happiest birthday would be that day with you. Although we didn't do anithing, although it was spent in tears, but it was a day worth having. You gave me the happiest birthday of my life, but I gave you the worst birthday anyone could ever have.

My first love was 2006. My second love was 2007. But I shall not mention who my second love is. But I reali reali did love them. Just that it was all too late. I've never been happy / smiled since my 2nd love left.

So I've just admited that I've onli truely had feelings for 2 guys. After my first love, I never bothered loving again. Why did I onli discribe my relationship with sherwin? Because I cannot reali remember what happened with everyone else. I reali don't mind that you guys hate me, I deserved it. In fact, If you guys didn't hate me, I would mind, it's what I deserve. I didnt get my love, doesn't mean I have to break every else's dream. Im reali sorwie. Knowing me is the worst nightmare anyone can have.

I stopped honging, I tried being serious, but it always screws up. I guess it's just karma. I would accept it, even if it lasts a lifetime.

I always nag at my friends when they flirt. I don't want them to go through the same pain I am. It's like a living hell, it's a lifetime sentence. Not like you people would care when I nag.


Fucked up emo post. I dont think you people can understand what I just said. But Im reali sorwie to everyone I've hurt. I swear I m sorwie. Although none of you would believe my words anymore.

I've got a bf now. If this doesnt work out, then I wouldn't get anyone else for some time. I LOVE BF

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 07:06 pm


Sunday, October 11, 2009
Rants of a Tired Princess

Tired Tired Tired. My eyes are like closing... It's 12 plus and I just woke up. >.<
No Im not a pig ! I slept at 4 plus sia.
Nopex it wasn't cause I was wasting my time away. But whatever.

Anyways, I had like 3 tuition yesterday, from 9.30 am to 10.30 pm. Super tiring ! Tuition is much more draining than school, for some reason that I have yet to find out. Hmmm... Would I win a Nobel prize for finding out "why students get more tired after tuition than after school" ? Oki Oki that's shit. Forget it. Heehee.

Waiting for my tuition teacher to come. I have no idea how am i going to go through tuition if my eyes are closing. Shall go wash my face later. I hope I can finish a GP essay during tuition today.

Lets see... I have to finish doing 6 H2 Math test papers by tomorrow. I have to complete 1 GP essay for tomorrow's lessons. Finish studying Cold War for my history test tomorrow. Yupx. And everything is to be done by 11 am tomorrow.

I've continuous lessons from 11 am to 4 pm. I think I'll like just die.
Im not sleeping tonight I guess. Or at least onli when I've completed my work. Im so gonna sleep after lessons tomorrow.


Many people have been asking me out for meals, movie, tonnings and stuff. Tell ya a secret. I don't even have time to eat ! I dont eat lunch sia. Like tomorrow where got time to eat lunch ?? Sorwie guys. Like I promised, after my exams. You guys will see me so much, you'll get sick of me ! Heehee. =P


Omg teacher is here. Byebee ~

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 01:46 pm


Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Birthday Speech

As my 18th birthday is approaching, Im beginning to look back in life. Maybe it's because Im becoming more mature, I've decided to take life in a new stride.

In the past, I was all so into love. Or should I say, that one and onli love. I've never reali taken a chance to look at other guys. I've never treasured my friends around me. I remember someone told me that I would come upon a time when I realise how friends are even more important than a guy. Just like a phrase from a song 朋友比情人还死心塌地方, it means that friends are more loyal than lovers. It's true, love isn't forever, but friendship is.

I wanna thank those who have accompanyed me though all my ups and downs. I reali love you all lots. Maybe we don't talk much ani more, maybe we don't meet up ani more. But each time I need someone you will be there. You've watched me grow, you've watched me change. You've watch me smile, you've watched me cry.

Just gonna name a few friends today. Those that I haven't had a chance to thank.


To: Amy Jiejie,
I've known you for I think 3 years now. Im reali greatful that I've gotta know you. I miss the times where we ton together, kbox together, smoked together, just all the times together. We've quarreled and made up, and I think it made our friendship stronger. When Im sad you'll be there for me. When I used to have bf problems you'll stand up for me. Even if Im in the wrong, you would side me first , then lecture me privately. Sorry that I did stupid things when I was young. And now I totally understand what you mean by "A person's perception would change when they turn 18". Although Im reali busy now, but I reali wish I could accompany you when you're sad and bored. I promise I'll meet you after my exams.

To: Rina BSFL
Babe I swear you're still my BSFL. And Im so so sorwie for our many quarrels. Back then we were young and full of ourselves. We didn't reali accept other advices. What's with the manners man ? I mean, in the past, we were just bitches who always think that our idea is the right one. We used to say it's such a miracle that 2 different people could become best sisters. But you know what's the best part ? We're so not the forgiving type of girl, but we always forgive each other after some time. Im telling you it just means that we're meant to be friends forever man. I guess now I've learnt how to treasure friends more. And you are one friend I wanna treasure forever. My promises are still valid, I swear. =P

To: Eugene
This dude is like a super great brother in Christ. Seriously I've never met a nicer guy friend than you. I guess it's God's will that we've became good friends. Thank you so much for you advices, it reali did help me grow. Thank you for being so patient with me. I know Im not easy to be patient towards. After exams, we're so bus-ing to church together again. Seriously it rawks. We're like 2 weird people who thinks of reali weird things to talk about. Oh... The best part is that we sometimes cannot even understand each other's ideas. Heehee. This time, I shall not be late. =X God knows how long I've known you, but Im glad I did.

To: Jareld
MAn... How long have I known him. You're 2 days older than me =P I cannot wait for our post birthday celeration. All I can say is that I m so blessed to have such a great friend like you. I love you man !

To : Ruiming Korkor
My korkor rawks my life. Thanks for all the great advices. You're like always there for me. And you always have time to listen to my stupid comments. We never get bored chatting with me. We'll always be korkor and mei mei. =>

To : My cousins
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLEN ! I love my cousins. We're crazy . We're high. We're the cousiny.

To: Everyone
Oki man... Im running out of things to say. But reali I love all my friends. I promise I'll meet you soon. And thanks for the birthday wishes. = > LOVES


Tearing as Im typing this, such an emotional moment as Im scrolling through my memories.

No more boy crazy, just friend crazy. =>

Finally this year I aint gonna wish for true love. This year's birthday, Im wishing for true friendship.

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 12:00 am


Saturday, September 26, 2009
My new plan

I have a reali bad habit of sleeping late. I've been trying to think of ways to put myself to sleep earlier. I realized that if you sleep at about 10, you would need lesser hours of sleep. I don't know if it's the same for everyone though.

Also, Im not determined to exercise at all. I told myself I would do 1000 sit ups a day, but I stopped at 160 because I got bored. I tried running, but I got bored as well. Speaking about running, for those who are too lazy to go outdoors to run, running on the spot at home works as well. =>

And worst of all, I get bored while doing my homework. I mean I get distracted reali easily. I can't even complete 1 chapter without moving about. That's reali terrible especially when exams are like in a month's time.

So today, I came up with an ingenious plan. I thought at I would combine the solutions of all 3 problems together. Im going to stay up late tonight until Im reali tried. Then I would wake up early tomorrow morning, maybe at like 6 plus 7. I'll spend the day studying, and if I do get bored, I'll exercise ! I'll run on the spot, do some sit ups or maybe squats. When Im bored of exercising, I'll be back studying. And the cycle continues. By about 9 plus 10 pm, I should be dead beat, and I'll turn in.

If this plan works, I'll do it everyday, and hence solve 3 outstanding problems of my own. ^.^ I'll tell you guys if it works tomorrow night. =>

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 11:33 pm


Friday, September 25, 2009
My perception to relationships

I hate those people who randomly start confessing to me. Annoying and irresponsible. They make me believe them, then they disappear. Wtf? I mean like, I was trying to keep the friendship, that's why i trusted them. If you don't wanna be friends, then don't appear. It's so hurting can. It's not like I like them or what, but I just feel that my sincerity is being cheated of.

I will not like hongsters. Seriously, I don't like people who sweet talk. Those who tried must have realised it doesn't work at all. I wouldn't trust a single thing. Especially those who confesses within the first 5 hours. Obviously fake.

I mean, If you want a long lasting relationship, fine. If you're looking for someone to pass time, fuck off. Yes, I bolded that. Don't tell me you're just trying out. There isn't try, it's either you do it or you don't.

I don't want sweet talks and promises. I just want security, love and care <-- YEs Im talking about those cool dudes. Words and promises doesn't do a thing in a relationship. If there is love, Even if you're just staring at each other, you'll know that he loves you. That's true love.

Seems like a dream ? Love is always like a dream. But dreams are worth fighting for. I'll always believe that someday, somehow, someone like him will appear.

So please guys, I just wanna be friends. Keep the friendship burning oki.

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 07:08 pm


Thursday, September 24, 2009
I <3 YOU

I LOVE BOYFRIEND

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 04:31 am


Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Stuff I did Today

Had a super uneventful day.

I slept till like 1. So what the hell right ? I don't know why Im being so lazy. So anyways, after I woke up, my mum got me to try some of the mooncakes she bought. I LOVE IT! It's the new Custard flavor from "Tong Lok" . It's super nice. It taste like the skin of the taiwan pineapple tarts. Seriously, go get one.

I went down to Body Shop later to get a nail buffer. I got the 4 step block one. The buffing rocks. It's like super shiney. It cost only $4.90. Super worth it. It's like almost the same price as the brandless ones. So for those who want nice buff, get the one from Body Shop. Also, I purchased their face towel. It's the same texture as the sponge that is used during facial. It is soft, doesn't hurt your skin and it does clean your face pretty well. Im starting to love Body Shop !

7 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY !

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 12:32 am


Thursday, September 10, 2009
Study crisis

I've been procrastinating A Lot recently. I onli have 50 days left. Maybe even less. Im like wayy too lazy. I found this on some website.

How Do I Know if I Procrastinate Excessively?

You procrastinate excessively if you agree with five or more of the following statements:

   1. I often put off starting a task I find difficult
   2. I often give up on a task as soon as I start to find it difficult.
   3. I often wonder why I should be doing a task.
   4. I often have difficulty getting started on a task.
   5. I often try to do so many tasks at once that I cannot do any of them.
   6. I often put off a task in which I have little or no interest.
   7. I often try to come up with reasons to do something other than a task I have to do.
   8. I often ignore a task when I am not certain about how to start it or complete it.
   9. I often start a task but stop before completing it.
  10. I often find myself thinking that if I ignore a task, it will go away.
  11. I often cannot decide which of a number of tasks I should complete first.
  12. I often find my mind wandering to things other that the task on which I am trying to work.

I agree with 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 9. 12. That's like 7/12. Like hell... Most oftenly I just get bored of what Im doing after like few pages. And I take ages to complete a page because Im not focusing. So lets see where this leads to...

Why Do Students Procrastinate?

There are many reasons why students procrastinate. Here are the most common reasons:
 
  1. Perfectionism. A student's standard of performance may be so high for a task that it does not seem possible to meet that standard.
  2. Fear of Failure. A student may lack confidence and fear that he/she will be unable to accomplish a task successfully.
  3. Confusion. A student may be unsure about how to start a task or how it should be completed.
  4. Task Difficulty. A student may lack the skills and abilities needed to accomplish a task.
  5. Poor Motivation. A student may have little or no interest in completing a task because he/she finds the task boring or lacking in relevance.
  6. Difficulty Concentrating. A student may have too many things around that distract him/her from doing a task.
  7. Task Unpleasantness. A student may dislike doing what a task requires.
  8. Lack of Priorities. A student may have little or no sense about which tasks are most important to do.

Im not a perfectionist and I dont fear failure. That's lucky for me. I heard perfectionism can have reali bad effects on people. A book I read says that we should always do things to 70% perfect. It's the amount where tasks would be done well, but we would be negatively affected by perfectionism.
Basically my main problem is motivation and concentration. I get bored with what Im doing all the time. I cannot concentrate hence I end up doing my work reali slowly. I guess it's just got to do with motivation. I mean if I was more motivated, I would have done my work anyways.

What Can I Do About Excessive Procrastination?
Here are some things you can do to control excessive procrastination.
 
  1. Motivate yourself to work on a task with thoughts such as "There is no time like the present," or "Nobody's perfect."
  2. Prioritize the tasks you have to do.
  3. Commit yourself to completing a task once started.
  4. Reward yourself whenever you complete a task.
  5. Work on tasks at the times you work best.
  6. Break large tasks into small manageable parts.
  7. Work on tasks as part of a study group.
  8. Get help from teachers and other students when you find a task difficult.
  9. Make a schedule of the tasks you have to do and stick to it.
  10. Eliminate distractions that interfere with working on tasks.
  11. Set reasonable standards that you can meet for a task.
  12. Take breaks when working on a task so that you do not wear down.
  13. Work on difficult and/or unpleasant tasks first.
  14. Work on a task you find easier after you complete a difficult task.
  15. Find a good place to work on tasks.

With regards to the above, Phineas Taylor Barnum
"Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well as now."

*-xiiaoGongzHu left at 09:37 pm


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